This post was submitted by Kathy Olsen, former director of AHOPE, and adoptive mom of 4 children, two of whom were adopted as teens from Bulgaria through AAI. Kathy is a passionate advocate for the adoption of older children and sent us this reflection and beautiful collage of family pictures created by her daughter Karen, depicted in the photo's top left corner . ******************************
This is the season of gatherings where we give thanks for all our blessings. We are grateful for family, for friends, for the bounty that is ours. But a child who has no family is missing out. Holidays may be celebrated in an orphanage, but it is not the same as the gathering around of people who love each other for better or for worse, for who they are, for ever and ever.
The older children are quite aware that something is missing from their lives. If they have had a family, they miss family. If they have never had a family, they miss what they imagine might have been and, saddest of all, may be resigned to the fact that what they miss will probably never happen for them. They have seen their friends leave for new families. They wonder why no one wants them.
My definition of older child is one who is now a teen. Adoption of these children is relatively rare. But they need families, too. Yes, they come with a history, but they also come with a track record. If a child is well liked and trusted by the other children and the caregivers, you have a winner. If a child is kind to the younger children, you have a winner. Layla House has winners who need a chance, who need a family. AHOPE Ethiopia's older kid’s home has winners too who need a chance, who need a family.
I speak from experience. Two of our children arrived as teens— one at 15 (a so-called last chance kid) and one at 14. Unlike the Layla and AHOPE children, they were not prepared for adoption and spoke not a single word of English. Despite many challenges, our son Stuart is a graduate of the University of Washington now employed by NOAA, the National Atmospheric and Oceanic Administration. Our daughter Karen is working on her Master’s Degree in Education, teaches preschool, and has a true gift for engaging with children challenged by autism. Both are very much part of the family, very attached to their other siblings, their mom and dad, and truly a blessing to all of us, forever and ever.
When you gather for the Thanksgiving feast, look around and see if it seems that someone is missing. Consider adopting an older child. He or she is waiting. If you start now, maybe by next Thanksgiving, you will have yet another reason to give thanks.
Below is an update from Mandie Doak, our Holiday Project coordinator: ********************************* Hi Everyone!
Its that time again...
This week we raised $1640, bringing our total raised so far to $9131. We still need to raise $12,499, to meet our goal. We still have a long way to go, but its coming along!
This week I have a challenge for you...
Last year, my then nearly 6 year old son, Leyton, searched every nook and cranny of our home and cars, and came up with a little over $130 in coins that HE dontated to the project. A few coins doesn't seem like much... until you add it to the pot. I couldn't believe that he found that much laying around our house!
My challenge is to donate what you can.
Scrounge the couch cushions, empty the ashtray in your car... Turn in that extra propane tank that's left over from summer... Can you go without your fancy coffee for a day or two? How bout' a week? Can you pack your lunch this week? What about having dinner 'in' this Friday, and watching a DVD from your collection instead of the $15 movie at the theatre? Can you donate what you are doing without this week, to the project? You'll be surprised how much you save, and how much good it can do!
This is more than just a few gifts under a wilting Christmas tree on the soccer field at Layla house... Help me to change lives forever...
Here is the weekly tally, and the updated #'s!
The breakdown is below...
Layla/Wanna/Opportunity House Kids Goal $5700 Have $3570 Need $2130
L/W/O Caregivers/Staff Goal $6570 Have $1400 Need $5170
OSP KIDS Goal $4200 Have $1091 NEED $3109
Nazret Party Goal $1000 Have $380 NEED $620
Mukatore Goal $400 Have $280 NEED $120
Sele Enat Goal $750 Have $390 NEED $360
Kidane Mihret Goal $1000 Have $700 NEED $300
GHANA KIDS/CAREGIVERS Goal $2010 Have $1320 NEED $690
There was a grand celebration of Halloween last week at Layla House. Our hard-working volunteer crew spent weeks preparing and supplied us with the pictures below. The text is by Molly Mellbom, a student at Oregon State University. If you are traveling soon, please express your thanks to this great group of young people who are teaching our kids so much!
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Halloween at Layla is so much more than just candy and costumes on the 31st of October.For us volunteers, the planning, brainstorming, and organizing began the first week of October and lasted until around 11 p.m. on the night of the 31st.Planning for a holiday such as Halloween at Layla House is not, as I discovered, for the faint of heart.Think about this:How does one go about preparing and costuming over 100 children?Think about that again: How does one go about preparing and costuming over 100 children in Ethiopia?In America, you could just hop in your car and head over to any one of the millions of Wal-marts or DollarTrees around and you’ve got yourself a nice little Halloween party.Here, our main resources were the storage room, the craft room, and the volunteer office at Layla.
We decided that all of the little boys in groups 2B and lower would be bugs with wings, antennas, and bug masks and all of the little girls in these groups would be fairies, complete with wings, tiaras, and magic fairy wands.We fashioned the wings out of notebook folders and poster paper and everything else out of millions upon millions of pipe cleaners (to those of you reading this who have generously donated things like this, thank you SO much!).In addition to costumes, every single child in groups KG through 5 made a “trick-or-treat” bag for candy.
We wrote down names and groups on everything and kept it all organized, by group, in the volunteer office.Our office looked a little bit like Santa’s workshop with a “Halloween” twist.We also had all of the kids in groups 1A through 2B color pictures of pumpkins, spiders, and candy corn to be used as decorations around Layla.In America class, we taught groups 3 through 5 about the history of Halloween and how it has changed over the generations.On the Thursday and Friday before Halloween, we brought in pumpkins for these groups to carve.Most of the kids were a little hesitant about diving in and touching the pumpkin “guts”, saying things like “gross” or “we eat pumpkins, we don’t cut them” but after a while, they got pretty into it.
T----, K----, and E---- of group 3 carved the most creative pumpkin – a rockstar, complete with a nose and tongue earring.During the week before Halloween, we encouraged the older kids to think of their own costumes and the ongoing theme among the boys seemed to be characters from “Lord of the Rings.”Many of them wanted to be Orks, but we also had a few elves, including both Z-- and B--- as Legolas.On Saturday morning,we volunteers showed up at Layla and found that all the boys had had the girls braid yarn into their hair to make it long and more “authentic-looking”. They had also made swords and bow and arrows out of various materials. Our very own, Patrick, got into the theme too, dressing up as Gandolf the White.All in all, I’d think it’s safe to say that the older boys took the show in terms of costumes and originality.
After spending an entire month planning Halloween for the kids, Saturday morning was our final push to make it the best Halloween Layla had ever seen.On Friday night, all of the volunteers, including Ivy and her son Alazar, spent time at the volunteer house putting our costumes together and making plans for the haunted house.In the end, along with Gandolf the White, Ivy dressed all in green and glued googly eyes all over her face, calling herself an “eyepod” and we turned Alazar into the cutest little Lion Ethiopia has ever seen.Alex fashioned her own ninja costume complete with wooden num-chucks, Jessica made a pretty awesome witch hat and topped it off with her scariest witch cackle, I dressed as a black cat, and Amanda dressed as a “Gumborous” which means someone with a “pot” head or more literally, someone with a big head.So she wore a cooking pot on her head and the kids absolutely loved it.Our newest volunteer, Andrea, arrived on Friday night, but still got into the Halloween spirit by painting her face like a zebra.Big kudos to our local friend Russ, who dressed up as Tarzan and bought most of the trick-or-treating candy AND helped set up the scary music in the haunted house.
We arrived at Layla around noon on Saturday to set up the haunted house in the group 4 and 5 classroom. It was a challenge keeping the kids from sneaking peeks into the classroom, and although some of them saw the inside before it was completed, I think that they were still pretty surprised.Around 5 p.m., we headed back to the volunteer house to put our costumes on and eat some food.We came back to Layla around 6:30 and began handing out costumes and treat bags and commenced with painting faces.I am not quite sure when the trick-or-treating began, but when we finally started, the kids were so excited that Ivy could barely keep them all in the cafeteria.We led them out, by groups, to four different bedrooms where volunteers were waiting with candy, including sugar-free candy for M--, our boy with diabetes.
In the last of the four bedrooms, Alex handed out toothbrushes and floss.Each volunteer was greeted with an enthusiastic “TRICKOTREAT” by all the children and even some teachers and house mothers participated.After getting the kids all sugared up and wild, we headed to the haunted house and Ivy led smaller groups of children, by group number, through the haunted house.Only about 2 or 3 children from the younger groups made it through the entire way.We were even able to scare a few of the older kids by popping out of corners or grabbing ankles from underneath tables.Even the house mothers and guards were bold enough to go through the haunted house. The house was replete with spooky music and noises, ghosts, skeletons, spiders, and icky things to touch, such as cooked pasta. Candy corn awaited those still alive at the exit.
When we finally got all the willing participants through, it was time to clean up!We cleaned up all the decorations, saved a bunch for next year (THANK YOU, SUSAN PD!!), and cleaned up all the smushed spaghetti noodles and candy corn and packed up our tired little selves into Ivy’s van and went home around 11 p.m.Before Halloween, all of us vowed to make it the best Halloween the kids at Layla had ever experienced, and I think we succeeded. I hope all of you had just as wonderful of a Halloween as we did at Layla!
Layla House is very fortunate to have some good friends in Ethiopia! Recently, one of them donated enough tickets to take all of the older children to a concert by Teddy Afro, an Ethiopian superstar. Below is volunteer Patrick Smith’s account of this special field trip. ********************************************
It paid off in the end---our days of secret planning and organizing to pull off a very special field trip for the Layla kids. The teachers and staff were able to keep their excitement hidden and the children were nearly oblivious until just before departure. Our planning was worth it in the end, and kept hysteria to a minimum within the compound in the preceding days---goal one, accomplished.
For those of you who do not know, Teddy Afro is essentially Ethiopia’s Michael Jackson, a charismatic reggae star revered by nearly everyone. His first concert, after two years in prison on questionable charges, was here in Addis in October. In the weeks leading up to the show, it was the talk of the whole town---billboard advertisements, radio station announcements, and great anticipation by every fan on the street.
After our valiant efforts to keep the destination of the field trip hidden, it is finally announced, and the children excitedly board the rented buses. For all of these kids, this concert is their first, and will undoubtedly remain in their memories for many years. .After indisputably the most joyous ride this bus has ever experienced, we all walk single file, roughly one adult for every child, head-on into a mob outside the gates. Our sponsor led the group through a herd of Ethiopians being treated like sheep, and then mumbles some words to the guards around the gate, and we begin to file slowly through the broad doors past the jealous gazes of people without tickets.
As we take our seats, it crosses my mind that perhaps concerts in Ethiopia may not be exactly like American concerts and eventually, my assumptions prove to be correct. Nearly two hours later, after multiple trips to the bathroom and kids getting hungrier by the minute, a Hummer pulls onto the field---Mr. Afro has arrived. And with him, the sun descends, the sky darkens with clouds, and rain begins to fall. This fact does not dampen the moods of the kids, or the crowd, when after years, the burden of anticipation is eliminated with the appearance of Teddy upon the stage. With the first notes (and I am not adding this for dramatic effect, it really happened) lightning strikes in the distance, and the roar of the crowd overcomes the stadium and the music.
I look around to see the joy in the faces of the children, and of the equally ecstatic staff. Everyone seems to be singing, while some are dancing too. I can nearly feel the joy radiate from the already tired and hungry children. I look beyond our group and see a dancing stadium, and beyond that people have climbed up the stadium lights and nearby unfinished buildings to see their hero. We stayed for two sets but by that time, the children were tired and starving and so we headed home. The rest of the concert crowd though danced and sang until the wee hours of the night.
When Brooke Cole, our tireless AAI Sponsorship Coordinator, found out that one of our sponsorship children in Addis, was living alone at age 16 and that the roof on her tiny house had collapsed due to the recent rains, she made it a "Facebook Cause", and enough money was raised to repair Aster's roof. Brooke's report to the donors and sponsors is below:
Aster in the sponsorship office
Aster is a very independent young lady who has been in our sponsorship program since March of 2005. She lives alone and has no family support system, but manages to overcome her challenges as best she can. This past summer we raised funds on Facebook to help repair the roof of her home to protect her from the torrential downpours of the rainy season in Ethiopia. We managed to raise $440 through the generosity of folks like you! Her home has now been repaired, and Aster is in deep gratitude for all our efforts to help ensure her comfort and safety. It enables her to continue to thrive and focus on her education without distractions. In an email that I received from one of our social workers, Elsa Moges, she stated how excited Aster was and that she passed her gratitude to all of us for our efforts to make this happen. Her neighbors and others in her community are also grateful for the work AAI has done to assist Aster. It is always such a joy for me to hear such news and know that our hard work is paying off. I thank each and every one of you for your dedication and support of our Sponsorship Programs.
Let’s continue to work together to give back to our communities, both locally and globally, to ensure a brighter tomorrow for all children. With much gratitude as always, Brooke Cole Sponsorship Coordinator
Read our latest sponsorship newsletter at this link.
Gail Gorfe, a Dutch-Canadian married to an Ethiopian and mother of four, has worked with AAI's Ethiopian program since its inception over 10 years ago. When I was in Ethiopia recently, we discussed the program's evolution and the changes that have come to Ethiopian adoption during the past decade. Gail contributed the following blog post after our conversations. She rarely sits still long enough for a photo so I only have one of her. Gail has promised me a future blog post with lots of family pictures and personal history.
Susan Poisson-Dollar Director of Development
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AAI’s Open Door Policy for Layla House
Over the past few months Layla house has admitted many new children. Children enter Layla house almost every day as they do at most orphanages and adoption centers across the country. There are differences in how this process happens, what the orphanages and centers look like, and have to offer. I am proud to be part of what I call “the AAI difference.” That can be summed up in just three words--- “we take anyone”.
This would not be considered a wise policy in most organizations. Even in the world of orphan care, this statement is very uncommon. Most orphanages or child centers in Ethiopia will not take just any child. This has nothing to do with finances, or space or even the personal interest of the administration. It is most often an unspoken and written policy that has made most orphanages very selective about what “kinds” of children are considered acceptable and ultimately, adoptable.
Many years ago Ethiopia had orphanages scattered across the country, run mostly by churches. Those orphanages opened their doors to take anyone who was in need. Children of all ages, backgrounds and needs were welcomed. They were given a home, the basics to survive (often very basic) and a community. These kids grew up together and eventually left the orphanage together and built their own families. Money was always short, space was not necessarily available, but every child was welcomed.
Today there are few orphanages like this in Ethiopia. The ones from many years ago are still around, operating almost as they did then, but now they are just a small handful of the orphanages in the country. The new orphanages, on the other hand, have more money, invest in programs in the community but will admit only a few select children into their homes. Taking any child (even any orphan) is not a consideration. There are age limits, space limits, and health requirements. Even if all the documents required by law for a child are available, that child is not guaranteed a space in most orphanages. The youngest, healthiest children, the bulk of those admitted, stay only a short time at the orphanage before leaving for a new adoptive homes.
Over the past few months AAI has started working with more private orphanages and we've re-established our relationships with some government orphanages. We are not specifically looking for them, but they find us. They find us because we offer to take any children that they would like to place with us. Like the three deaf children (ages 5-8) who came two months ago, the four year old boy with missing toes who came two weeks ago, or the two year old girl with Down Syndrome and mild CP who came last week, even the three brothers (3,6,10) who came last week. These children aren’t necessarily too old for adoption, they aren’t necessarily too “unhealthy or imperfect” for adoption either, but unlike the doors to AAI’s Layla house, not all orphanage doors are open to them now.
I am proud to be part of AAI, where I can take a phone call about a child and say “yes, we will take that child,” and “yes, we will open a file for that child,” why not? Why lock the door to that child before it is even opened? That doesn’t mean we can find a home for every single one of them, but we do our best to give that child the possibility of a brighter future. Documents must be in order before a child is admitted of course, but it is often at this first step that the rejection from other orphanages takes place.
At the same time, AAI must grapple with the implications of this “open door” policy. Not everyone who enters Layla house, or has an active file with us, will be adopted. This is something that every agency and orphanage needs to be prepared to handle, but the reality is that they don’t and prefer to limit the children they accept to those they can easily place. Our “open door” policy, on the other hand, requires dedication to the problem, creative ideas and of course the funds to reach out and find families for children who are more difficult to place. AHOPE and Kidane Mihret, are two other orphanages with a similar philosophy and they also take all children in need. We work together to find homes for the children in our care and sometimes within one AAI family, there are children from Layla, Kidane Mihret and AHOPE, or any combination thereof.
I am glad that, as an adoption agency whose motto is “finding families for children,” AAI is open to taking many different kinds of special needs and difficult-to-place children. We work hard in the U.S. to assist and advise families adopting these children, and we are open to working with all kinds of families to help them succeed. That is not a common policy among agencies here either and it is this combination of factors that allows me, and my colleagues here to be proud of the work that we do every day on behalf of orphaned children.
(written by Susan Poisson-Dollar, AAI Director of Development)
Sorry for the lag in blog posts here but I've just returned from a week in Ethiopia to work on planning the AAI Return to Ethiopia 2010 trip (more on that later but save the dates of June 20-27 and plan to come along). I had the privilege of staying in our volunteer house and getting to know the current and absolutely fabulous group of young people working with our kids. Not only are they "doing good" but they are also having a wonderful time so it's a win-win situation! Our volunteers participate in every aspect of life at Layla House from tutoring students, teaching classes, cuddling babies, assisting with field trips, embassy visits, helping adoptive families, etc. etc. Not to mention playing lots and lots of soccer! They are the chief reason why many of our older children surprise their new parents with the amount of English they speak and understand. Volunteering at Layla is truly a life-changing experience.
Below are some photos of the volunteers. If you would like to learn more about the program, visit this linkor contactBrookeCole, AAI's volunteer coordinator. Although all of the current volunteers are college-age, we accept volunteers of any age and can tailor opportunities and experiences for those with specific skills.
(left to right--Patrick, Amanda, Molly, Alex and Jessica, our current
volunteers extroardinaire)
(Jessica and Alex helping me prepare to escort these two cuties to the USA)
(you can always find Patrick mobbed by a gang of kids. By the way, he's also an "AAI uncle" to two boys recently adopted by his sister)
From a volunteer's recent journal entry:
.........without this first-hand experience, and the bonding brought on by time, one can never fully understand the beauty of these children after everything they have gone through. Truthfully, this knowledge is what keeps me afloat and has blown apart all of my expectations, while leaving my doubts in the dust. Even with only about a quarter of my trip over, I know I will never forget the children and the lessons they never knew they taught me.
